A little fun, from the Web

Dear Red States…

We've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue
States with us. In
case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and almost all the
Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,
and especially to the people of the new country of New
California. To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave
states.

We get stem cell research and the best
beaches.

We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You
get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole'
Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and
entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax
revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair
share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower
than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to
fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to
send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show
pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq and hope that the WMDs
turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's
Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control
of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state
dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry,
most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand,
you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their
projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes not
to mention the aggressive bees, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90
percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually
100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob
Jones University, Clemson and the University
of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite! Thank
you!

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe
Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws,  53 percent
still believe that Saddam was involved in 9/11. And, 61 percent of
you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we
lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.

You
can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico .

Peace out,
Blue
States